Severe... Or Severe mercy?
2 Corinthians 12:7-10
Here's to the weak.
The imperfect.
The one with issues and struggles.
The one who
feels as if they can't get anywhere.
The one who
assumes change is just some false inspiration people talk about.
You have tried
countless times... But you always seem to fall.
It never
fails.
It never
changes.
Its been noticed by you and many others that you hit monumental highs and
record lows on a daily basis. As soon as you think you've got it... You've
changed... You've arrived...You've got it all under control... Its in that
moment that a thick array of dark and gloomy clouds comes once more. And just
like that, you are right back to where you started. With each fall you lose
more and more hope. You feel more and more ashamed. People said you needed
Jesus, so you got Him, yet the torment continued. So now you start to doubt if
this Christian walk thing is really meant for you.
People
try to fix you. Call it depression. Say you need to go on medication. See a
psychiatrist. Tell him all your deep, dark problems... Only for him to label
you as sick and then try to tape up and cover the real issue. So you believe
him. You take on the label. Your depressed and you've just got a messed up
mind. No one can help you... Not even God. I mean... It's caused by whacked out
chemicals. Others say its a sin issue. Got some stuff you need to deal with.
Surrender it to the Lord. Your not relying on Him enough. So pray some more and
read your Bible... That should take care of the problem. So when the darkness
creeps in, you read your Bible and scream out some prayers... Sometimes
the light comes... Other times it doesn't. You wonder, "Why do I keep on
trying?" You just want it to change. So you keep on praying.
So here's to
the desperate.
Here's to
the pleading.
The one who cries out almost night and day for an answer or a change.
You question
whether or not He hears you.
You wonder if
it was something you said or did.
You wonder if
He cares.
Or if He is
even there.
You hear that
His plans are good. But what you see around you is nothing but a broken world
that has been shattered and stepped on over and over again... leaving nothing
but dust. Your faith shakes. Your trust starts slipping. And you are so angry
at, what you believe to be, false words of hope and reassurance that it's all
for good. You want to scream. Sometimes your mask slips, and you do. It all
seems like a lie. You don't know what to believe. And just like that... you
begin to fall.
What about
that friend you asked God to heal that passed away only weeks after being
labeled healthy again? You hold her mother in your arms as she weeps for her
child. Where is God's mercy? What about that baby you asked the Lord to keep,
yet he never got to see the light of day? As you hear the parents pain, you
believe there is no way God can hear. What about your relatives salvation you
pleaded for... yet their heart remains hard? As you see them refuse it over and
over... you know God can shine light... yet its as if it remains hidden. Where
is His love? All these questions. All this doubting. And before you know it,
bitterness and anger is all that's inside you.
It seems so
unfair. So unjust. So severe. How could a loving God... one
who apparently works out all things for good... let all these things
happen? This can't be right. Where is His mercy? Where is His grace?
What if I
said it was in the midst of all your pain? Among the tears and the broken glass
that is all you can see? What if I said these unanswered prayers and
constant struggles are just what we will call, severe mercy? Could it be that
God sees and knows more than you? Like, maybe He has a better idea of what is
best? Maybe His love isn't distant, just displayed differently than what we
would expect?
Consider this
with me...
His Son...
Did He not love
Him?
"The
Father loves the Son and has given all things into his hand."
John 3:35
Yet did He not
then give Him up to the most horrific death?
Allowing the
biggest injustice ever known to man?
A sinless man...
bearing the weight, punishment, and death for a bunch of sinners?
How could He
allow this?
Did He not hear
His Son plea for this weight to be lifted from Him?
Did He not
hear?
Did He not
care?
Why would He do
that?
Could it be He
could see beyond our eyesight?
Like maybe He
knew what needed to be done?
Perhaps He knew
that the sacrifices we offered weren't enough.
"For it
is impossible for the blood of bulls and goats to take away sins."
(Hebrews 10:4)
Maybe He knew
that a perfect sacrifice was needed.
He knew there
was no other way.
As much pain as
it caused Him to see His Son plead... only to have to turn away.
As crazy as it
sounds.
As harsh and as
unfair as it seems.
He did it
because He loves YOU.
"For God so loved the
world, that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not
perish but have eternal life."
(John 3:16)
So maybe in the moment, His
plan made no sense. Maybe it seemed as if God didn't care because it seemed as
if He wasn't acting. From what eyes could see, it seemed as if the ultimate bad
was happening and our awesome God had decided to stop caring. But in fact, He
was up to the greatest act of mercy and love in all of history! So please don't
give up. Please don't throw your fist up at God and say that you have had
enough of Him... and walk away. It's tempting. The flesh is weak. And we so
desperately try to walk by sight instead of by faith (2 Corinthians 5:7). But I
challenge you to consider that He knows what’s best. Consider that His love comes in all shades of colors... that are far more magnificent then any our eyes can
see or our minds imagine.
I know it's hard.
You are not alone in your
struggles and emotions.
I am right there with you.
I am the weak.
I am the
imperfect.
I am the
desperate and the pleading.
I have been
labeled as that depressed girl and have seen that psychiatrist.
I have doubted
salvation and the God who gives it.
I have tried
finding fixes and have, therefore, started many bad habits.
I have cried
out so many times for it to end.
For an
everlasting relief to come, here and now... Not one day in heaven.
I have lost that friend.
Seen that loved one suffer.
Even lifted my fist to the face
of the Holy God saying, "What on earth are You doing?"
And these continuous struggles,
thorns in my flesh... these unanswered prayers, distresses and difficulties...
have caused many tears, left scars, and robbed me of rest and peace. But one
thing they also do: Leave me desperate.
"The sun, it does not
cause us to grow. It is the rain that will strengthen, it is the rain that will
strengthen your soul. It will make you whole."
I Have Made Mistakes by The Oh
Hello's
Have you ever noticed that when
it's sunny outside, life seems finally peaceful and put together... you may
begin to believe you have finally arrived? You think you have finally figured
it out. But then, all of a sudden, out of no where... that thorn in your flesh
pokes once more or that prayer seems to bounce back off the ceiling and you are
brought, once more, to your knees. But maybe that desperation, clear
understanding of your weakness, and humble reliance on God is where God's
strength and power are more plainly displayed and seen. So could what seems to
be severe judgment or punishment, actually be God's severe mercy?
There's a song I recently heard
by Elenowen called "Cripple Me." Here are some lyrics that the Lord
really used to bring this whole thing together...
"Please, please, please, please cripple me... So that I
cannot keep running away from You."
This
weakness...
This
struggle...
This
distress...
Keeps me from
running too far.
When I wander
off...
When I believe
I have figured it out...
It brings me
right back.
On my knees
before God.
And what better
place to be?
During a recent conversation
with a friend of mine about just being exhausted and tired of constantly
struggling with the same thing for so long and longing for God to answer
pleadful prayers... She reminded me that this just might be the thing God
forever uses in my life to humble me. At first, I kinda wanted to throw a
tantrum and yell out like a three year old, "no, no, NO!!" but now I
see the beauty in it. It doesn't have to be something that throws me down in a
depression pit and causes me to curse God, like Satan desires. I can choose to see it for the
severe mercy it is. And I hope I choose to do so in the days and
years to come.
So to the weak
and imperfect... His grace is sufficient. You may wish and plead with God to
take away whatever may be tormenting you, just like Paul. But do not fear,
fret, or doubt when relief doesn't come. Praise the Lord that through your
weakness... His strength can be more clearly seen. And to the desperate and
pleading... His grace is also sufficient. You may beg God to answer your
prayers and act in such a way that displays His loving character... But don't
forget He displays His love in different ways. Keep crying out. Keep calling on
His name. And praise the Lord that He is keeping you desperate for Him. And
then in all cases, let your soul cry out with Paul, "Therefore I
am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with
persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I
am strong." knowing and holding on to this promise from our
Heavenly Father who is ever faithful... "My grace is sufficient
for you."
Lord, please
leave this thorn in my flesh if it is the only way to keep me running back to
You. Cripple me! And forgive me when I think I know better... when I question
Your plans and what You are doing in my life. Keep me seeking after
You. For I know... Through these struggles and temptations... Your grace
is sufficient for me. So I am well content with these thorns in my flesh and with these difficulties, I
will even boast about them, so that Your power may dwell evidently within me.
Just keep sending down Your loving and severe mercy.
Amen.
Comments
Post a Comment